thanks to tht someone,
i didnt kill myself,
cz i didnt have the chance to do it ;)
ok, so i made kak aena and her bf gaduh,
and i ws the reason my uncle caught me with kak aena's bf,
and i turned the whole freaking world upside down,
and theres nthg i cn do to stp it frm happening,
im pissed with myself tht i feel like i should die,
i rarely being emotional,
but today, i cried lots of times,
bcz i made mistakes i shouldnt make,
stupid, i know,
urghh, my eyes hurt, and i cnt breathe,
and my inside hurts cz i cnt stop coughing,
and i dnt know wht to do,
if i keep repeating the same thing fr four years in a row,
and how will i stop ?
and i have no answer, fr every questions i have on mind,
i cnt keep hurting others bcz of my selfish-ness,
or keep lying to others cz i want to be happy,
i TRY to make others happy,
especially kak aena and her bf,
i owe them a lot,
im nt talking bout money here,
ouh, stop crapping,
i mean, hw hard i tried,
i still hurt them,
by making stupid dumb mistakes,
i dnt know hw to face another day of being a lamp post and ruining others lives ?
i try to be a very cheerful person,
who saves someones relationship,
and im still trying,
but i fail, and still am,