its not ok when i say it is

I know, life's always ugly, but if you look inside the ugliness, you'll find beauty. Haha, what the heck am i crapping ? Btw, life for me is over. I mean, look at me. I am ugly I am fat I am a Loser I am a failure I failed every subjects in school I disappoint my parents all the time. So what is this ? What's the point of living ? My feelings are a mixture and I am lame. I am never good in anything, and people look down on me ALL THE TIME! Guys I like, don't know I exist. See, how pathetic I am. My crushes love better chicks. So, I am left with nothing but remorseful regrets. Despite all the efforts I put into making myself a better person, I am becoming worse, and I just hope it doesn't get to an extend where I will just give up, and when I don't get back up, it's really GAME OVER (: Oh, I would really like to tell a story, of how broken my heart is when what I expected, becomes the opposite. And guess what, when I cry, I don't have anyone to turn to. I would like to go to him, but I fear that he might ignore me. Seriously, knowing that he doesn't care for me would make my world come crashing down, so I'm better left not knowing (: Goodnight :B