alive

i am very very miserable right now. i cried a few timess. yeah, just a few times. i cried when i feel like throwing up. i cried when i feel like a loser, and yeah, i am. i cried when i feel tension. i cried when i know i have to cry. i cried when i ws bathing last night. i cried when i ws in my room alone. i cried when my heart is aching. and theres no one to comfort me. isnt mylife soo wonderful. .... yeahh, i went to mpsj afew times this week. went with shaan. Haha. ouh yeah, the second day, when i ws walking to shaan's house, i ws walking very2 fast, coz i know i ws late. and then , shaan came frm behind and he gave me the shock of my life! :D:D and the third day, tht was yesterday, i ws nt in the mood to go alone, so i dingdong shaan's house. and his mum was calling, hello, hello. then i ws like, "erkk, is shaan home?" then his mum asked the maid to go call him or something, and they were shouting asking, this and tht. and his mum asked, whts ur name, then i said Azmina. Hahaa, the maid open the gate fr me, and i walked inside, and sat wth his mum and bro. Hahaha:D:D we talked fr a while, i ws kinda scared. his mum's quite sporting and nice too :)) haha, i ws hoping fr him to chnge quickly, and when he came down the stairs, i ws, thnkful to god. im nt friendly, soo i dnt knw aht else to talk wth his mum :D andand, im feeling guilty, bcz he ws asleep, when i came to his house! Arghhh, he ws having his sleeeping beauty :D and another thing, on our way back, at 6sumthing pm, i saw my neighbour's car, so he had to walk alone to his house, and i wentt back by car. seriously, isnt tht soooooo selfish! i knoow! soryyyy shaan! i wnt to be the best, nt the second best :( ouh yeahh, sorry again shaan , cz i kept talking bout chocs! yeah, i ws craving fr chocs! and now my stomach's full. wth chocs :D and2, sorry AGAIN! cz i cried when we were walking home , friday. sorry. i know its so babyish, bt i have to. or ill kill myself. BYE FR NOW